Based on the way your nodes are laid out within the group, it won’t be easy to avoid crossings. If you remove the curve and the end segment lengths, AvoidsNodes routing can do a better job, but I don’t know if that style works for you.
It’s hard to quantify what would look better, that’s really up to you. The best course of action might be as you suggested, which is just ordering the ports/nodes to avoid as many crossings as possible.
the nodes can be laid out any way that makes it look better. i was wondering if there’s a way to make a link go through a certain point (such as the left side of the group). then within the group maybe a force-directed layout to position the nodes within the group to try to make the links fan out from there. is that possible?